Einstein's Answer to Life's Questions

We're all looking for answers to life's big questions... and of course life's little questions too. And so often, in our search for the answers, we tend to be very attached to the idea that there are a list of "right" answers, which can be applied in every situation - what to do to become successful, how to talk to your teenager, what to do to resolve a conflict, how leaders should behave, 7 steps to being happy, and much, much more. Wouldn't it be great if it really was that simple, if all we had to do is just learn a list of rules and apply the rules to every situation, to become happy and successful?! Wouldn't it be great if we only had to develop a marketing plan once, and we could then just roll it out from there, never having to come back and review our marketing strategy? Wouldn't it be fantastic if we could take a course or read a book on relationships and know that the answers we've read are the answers for all time?

Well, as much as we might delude ourselves with the idea that we can learn all the answers, if we just find the right book or course, life is too diverse, people and relationships are too unique, and the world is changing at too rapid a pace, for this to ever be a realistic expectation. I suspect that Einstein's views on "life's answers" are more realistic - and incredibly useful too.

Apparently one of Einstein's student assistants asked him, "Professor Einstein, what test are we giving the students this week?" Einstein replied, "The same test we gave them last week." Bewildered, the student assistant replied, "But Professor Einstein, we already gave them that test." Einstein patiently answered, "Yes, but the answers are different this week."

Einstein clearly understood the importance of life-long learning. People who understand life-long learning are more successful, because they keep reading, listening, watching, questioning and learning, and they keep evolving. They tend to also experience less conflict and more intimacy in their relationships - because they recognise that multiple perspectives exist, are more comfortable with uncertainty, and are less attached to their opinions being "THE RIGHT ANSWER."

Einstein is often considered the epitome of intelligence, for the contribution that his thinking made to the world of science - a world that's all about knowledge, certainty and predictability. The word "science" comes from the Latin scientia, meaning "knowledge" or "to know", and is described by Wikipedia as the effort to discover, and increase human understanding of how the physical world works. All scientific research is underpinned by the belief that there are rules and laws that govern our behaviour and the behaviour of our environment, and is an effort to discover and articulate these rules. This anecdote reveals an element of Einstein's success strategy - the contradiction of being able to pursue greater knowledge and understanding, whilst maintaining a loose attachment to certainty. Having a loose attachment to certainty is what opens the way to further discovery, creativity and evolution - what Rosamund and Ben Zander (co-authors of "The Art of Possibility") refer to as "living in possibility." Perhaps more importantly, since our beliefs play such a significant role in creating our emotions, having a loose attachment to certainty, and being able to change your beliefs, opens the way to emotional freedom.

So how can you practice living with a loose attachment to certainty, and experience greater creativity and emotional freedom?
1. If you're feeling bad, notice what your beliefs are about the situation you're feeling bad about. Write these down. For each belief, ask "Why?" a few times, to identify the underlying beliefs you're holding.
2. If you're feeling stuck and unsure how to solve a problem, notice what your beliefs are about the situation, and the possible solutions you've already generated. Write these down, and ask "Why?" to get your underlying beliefs.
3. Choose the belief that you feel is most getting in the way of you feeling the way you want to feel or solving the problem.
4. Question the belief, by asking, "Is it true?" Find examples of situations where your belief might be untrue. Find examples of other people who don't believe that particular belief, and get some of the results you're wanting in life. Ask yourself, "How would I know if this belief wasn't true?" Ask yourself, "Would I want someone else I love dearly to hold this belief?"
5. Notice: who would you be without this belief? How would you feel without this belief? How would you go about solving this problem if you didn't have this belief?
6. Brainstorm some other potential beliefs that you could hold instead. Start with stating the exact opposite to your current belief, then add any further ideas of ways you could adapt your previous belief, so that it's more useful. Finally, add examples of beliefs you think other people hold.
7. Evaluate each possible belief, and notice which of the new beliefs could be as true, or more true, than the previous belief you were holding. Choose to practice the new belief (or beliefs) that are both true and useful.
8. Keep reading, observing, and listening widely - this will give you exposure to evidence with which to keep evolving your thoughts and beliefs, so that they remain useful and support you to solve problems and experience emotional freedom.

What do you do, read, or listen to, to support your life-long learning, personally, and in your professional life?

Pull out of the Rat-Race

Anybody linked to me on Facebook will know that I’m about as active and engaged in the Facebook world as a teenager on holiday with their family. I have filtered my emails so I no longer get notifications of everyone’s “Status updates” and invitations to do a “who’s my hottest friend” quiz or buy someone a picture of a drink. But a few weeks ago, in a rare moment of tiredness, boredom and restlessness following a few months of overwork, I logged-in to Facebook, and found a very surprising and serendipitous gift waiting for me. This picture of my sister, Sue (in the pink spotty swimsuit) and me (in the red number), was posted by my uncle, Rob, who lives in Australia. It took me straight back to childhood days of being healthy, tanned, dirty, active, happy and carefree, from playing all day. It wasn’t uncommon for us to spend a whole day playing in the pool, and to reluctantly swap the pool for the bath at the end of the day, and laugh until our tummies ached, about our white, wrinkled, water-soaked “granny skin”.

This photo reminded me of some of the stuff I’ve squeezed out of my life, in my efforts to complete all the “I SHOULD...” tasks that we, as adults, tell ourselves we HAVE TO DO in order to be happy and successful. And I realised that it’s been a long time since I stayed in a pool so long that I got granny skin, or laughed until my tummy ached in a moment when there was no actual joke. In fact, I realised that there are alot of things I no longer do, that I used to love doing as a child.

Martha Beck, in her book, “The 4 Day Win”, refers to research on addiction, which highlights a strong correlation between addictive behaviour and a lack-lustre, trapped life. She refers to a study by Bruce Alexander, a psychologist, who researched morphine-addiction behaviour in lab rats. One group of lab rats was placed in a bare cage, and another group was placed in a “rat park” - a large enclosure that had lots of fun burrows and holes, funky smells, and all sorts of other things that rats love. Both groups of rats were able to choose between two water dispensers: the one had plain water in it, and the other had morphine-laced water in it. The caged rats chose the morphine water immediately and quickly got addicted. The rat park rats chose the plain water. Rats have a sweet tooth, so Alexander added sugar to the morphine-laced water, to try to coax the rat-park rats to drink it and they still avoided it. It was only when he added Naxolene, which eliminates the intoxicating effects of morphine, that the rat-park rats drank the morphine-laced water. The rat-park rats didn’t like getting high. When Alexander took the morphine-addicted cage-rats and placed them in the rat park, they reduced their consumption of the morphine-laced water, even though they experienced withdrawal symptoms.

It doesn’t take a psychologist or an experiment with lab rats to work out that we’re a whole lot more likely to use mind-numbing drugs, self-sabotage or self-destructive behaviour when we’re living a confining “rat-cage” life, trapping ourselves by doing all the things we tell ourselves we “HAVE TO DO”, and leaving to space for the things we'd LOVE TO DO. And it doesn’t take a psychologist to work out that we’re much happier and make much healthier choices for ourselves (which leads to greater success and further life enrichment) when we’re including fun, stimulation and freedom in our lives.

So here are a few questions, to coach yourself into rat-park heaven:
1. What did you love doing as a child? If you have trouble remembering, ask your parents and siblings, or unearth the old family albums.
2. What makes you smile spontaneously?
3. What are some of your favourite sounds to hear?
4. What textures do you just love to feel? For some inspiration, watch one of my favourite films, Amelie.
5. What sensations on your skin or in your body are absolutely gorgeous?
6. What are your most delicious flavours to taste?
7. What are the aromas you most like to smell?
8. What are some of your favourite scenarios, colours or textures to see?
9. When was the last time you laughed until your tummy ached? What triggered the hysteria?
10. When was the last time you laughed for no good reason? In a new international movement called Laughter Yoga, they're teaching people to laugh without having a joke trigger - just to activate the physical and health benefits of laughter.
11. How can you bring more of these “rat-park” elements into your life, to enrich your life now?

As Arnold Glasow says, “Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.” Perhaps that’s where the rat-park rats were getting their fix!