Pull out of the Rat-Race

Anybody linked to me on Facebook will know that I’m about as active and engaged in the Facebook world as a teenager on holiday with their family. I have filtered my emails so I no longer get notifications of everyone’s “Status updates” and invitations to do a “who’s my hottest friend” quiz or buy someone a picture of a drink. But a few weeks ago, in a rare moment of tiredness, boredom and restlessness following a few months of overwork, I logged-in to Facebook, and found a very surprising and serendipitous gift waiting for me. This picture of my sister, Sue (in the pink spotty swimsuit) and me (in the red number), was posted by my uncle, Rob, who lives in Australia. It took me straight back to childhood days of being healthy, tanned, dirty, active, happy and carefree, from playing all day. It wasn’t uncommon for us to spend a whole day playing in the pool, and to reluctantly swap the pool for the bath at the end of the day, and laugh until our tummies ached, about our white, wrinkled, water-soaked “granny skin”.

This photo reminded me of some of the stuff I’ve squeezed out of my life, in my efforts to complete all the “I SHOULD...” tasks that we, as adults, tell ourselves we HAVE TO DO in order to be happy and successful. And I realised that it’s been a long time since I stayed in a pool so long that I got granny skin, or laughed until my tummy ached in a moment when there was no actual joke. In fact, I realised that there are alot of things I no longer do, that I used to love doing as a child.

Martha Beck, in her book, “The 4 Day Win”, refers to research on addiction, which highlights a strong correlation between addictive behaviour and a lack-lustre, trapped life. She refers to a study by Bruce Alexander, a psychologist, who researched morphine-addiction behaviour in lab rats. One group of lab rats was placed in a bare cage, and another group was placed in a “rat park” - a large enclosure that had lots of fun burrows and holes, funky smells, and all sorts of other things that rats love. Both groups of rats were able to choose between two water dispensers: the one had plain water in it, and the other had morphine-laced water in it. The caged rats chose the morphine water immediately and quickly got addicted. The rat park rats chose the plain water. Rats have a sweet tooth, so Alexander added sugar to the morphine-laced water, to try to coax the rat-park rats to drink it and they still avoided it. It was only when he added Naxolene, which eliminates the intoxicating effects of morphine, that the rat-park rats drank the morphine-laced water. The rat-park rats didn’t like getting high. When Alexander took the morphine-addicted cage-rats and placed them in the rat park, they reduced their consumption of the morphine-laced water, even though they experienced withdrawal symptoms.

It doesn’t take a psychologist or an experiment with lab rats to work out that we’re a whole lot more likely to use mind-numbing drugs, self-sabotage or self-destructive behaviour when we’re living a confining “rat-cage” life, trapping ourselves by doing all the things we tell ourselves we “HAVE TO DO”, and leaving to space for the things we'd LOVE TO DO. And it doesn’t take a psychologist to work out that we’re much happier and make much healthier choices for ourselves (which leads to greater success and further life enrichment) when we’re including fun, stimulation and freedom in our lives.

So here are a few questions, to coach yourself into rat-park heaven:
1. What did you love doing as a child? If you have trouble remembering, ask your parents and siblings, or unearth the old family albums.
2. What makes you smile spontaneously?
3. What are some of your favourite sounds to hear?
4. What textures do you just love to feel? For some inspiration, watch one of my favourite films, Amelie.
5. What sensations on your skin or in your body are absolutely gorgeous?
6. What are your most delicious flavours to taste?
7. What are the aromas you most like to smell?
8. What are some of your favourite scenarios, colours or textures to see?
9. When was the last time you laughed until your tummy ached? What triggered the hysteria?
10. When was the last time you laughed for no good reason? In a new international movement called Laughter Yoga, they're teaching people to laugh without having a joke trigger - just to activate the physical and health benefits of laughter.
11. How can you bring more of these “rat-park” elements into your life, to enrich your life now?

As Arnold Glasow says, “Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.” Perhaps that’s where the rat-park rats were getting their fix!