Monday, July 14, 2008

Benjamin Zander in Cape Town!

I definitely won't be missing the opportunity to experience one of Benjamin Zander's workshops in Cape Town next month. Zander is a world-famous musician, conductor and inspirational speaker on the topic of leadership. Zander and his wife, Rosamund Zander, have co-authored a book, The Art of Possibility, based on Zander's leadership philosophy.

Check out this video of his presentation on TEDtalks:

Zander will be running a Leadership Workshop at Artscape in Cape Town on 21 and 22 Aug 2008. Here's what you can expect:

"Benjamin Zander's presentation takes an audience on a journey that offers a startling new perspective on leadership. Through stories, music and concepts it causes a radical shift in perception. This is not a speech, it is an experience!"

When you book for this event, remember to say that you're a member of my network, and you'll get a 25% discount on the ticket price. See you there!




Thursday, July 10, 2008

To be or not to be...


There are 3 types of goals: “to have” goals, “to do” goals, and “to be” goals. Since you’re reading this blog, I know you’re the sort of person who’s not just interested in achieving goals that relate to having (money and all the stuff you can buy with it) and doing (skills, experiences and achievements), you’re interested in goals that are about being as well.

“To be” goals are about who you are, your character development, your attitudes, and becoming more of the person you want to be - regardless of your tangible material circumstances or your skills and achievements. Most of society uses indicators such as material wealth and achievements to judge how successful people are. Society says, “The more you have and do, the more successful you are.” If we accept this definition of success, there’s the likelihood that we’ll become greedy, busy and stressed out, always feeling that we never have enough or do enough.

In a previous blog I wrote about how people think they want things and experiences, but we don’t want things and experiences, we want the way that we think those things and experiences will make us feel. The only reason our “to have” and “to do” goals are important to us is because of how we think we’ll feel when we have them. But we don’t have to wait until we have them - we can feel how we want to feel right now. Your “to be” goals are about how you want to think and feel in your life. “To be” goals are the easiest goals to achieve, and the only goals that we can keep forever... and they’re what we ultimately want when we're going after the “to have” and “to do” goals anyway. So why not take the short cut to what you really want, and focus on your “to be” goals? Here’s how:

1. Make a list of qualities you’d ideally like to be able to describe yourself with.

2. Make it tangible. One of the main reasons people don't set "to be" goals is because they're so fuzzy and intangible. Ask yourself, “How will I know that I’m being (confident/ generous/ respectful/ peaceful, etc)?”

3. Watch and listen. Look for examples of other people who are “being” the way you want to be. Notice what’s different about them. What lets you know that they’re being confident/ generous/ respectful/ peaceful, etc?

4. Hang out with other people who are being the way you want to be. Thoughts and feelings are contagious, so choose whose thoughts and feelings you want to catch. Nurture those new qualities you’re developing by hanging out with people who also value those qualities. If you’re wanting to develop a more positive outlook on life, you’ll do that more easily if you hang out with people who have a positive outlook on life than if you continue spending all your time with people who are negative and complaining all the time.

5. Create a clear picture of yourself, being the way you want to be. Ask yourself, “Who would I be, with those qualities?” Notice what’s different about the way you’d talk, the way you’d hold your posture, the way you’d interact with other people, what you’d be saying to yourself in your head. Write all of this down. Be as specific and detailed as possible.

6. Create a “to be” vision board. Look for pictures that represent the way you want to be. Think of metaphors that describe the qualities you want to be more of. Perhaps pictures of mountains and large, sturdy old trees might represent self-assurance, steadfastness and faith for you. Or perhaps you want to represent the quality of openness with an open flower that’s willing to be vulnerable, and knows that opening up is the only way to let others appreciate it’s full beauty. Add poetry or quotes that represent the way you want to be. Add pictures of some of the people who you feel epitomise those qualities that you want to develop in yourself.

7. Spend 10mins each day, relaxing and focusing on visualising the “to be” qualities on your vision board, and feeling how it feels to be that way, and then go out and BE.

Since Martha Beck is one of my Sheros who epitomises some of the qualities that are on my “to be” list (GENEROSITY, FAITH), I made sure not to miss her visit to Joburg, South Africa this week, where I had the pleasure of meeting Martha in person.

Martha chatted about her latest book, Steering By Starlight, which was released in SA last month. As always, she shared with us ideas that were inspiring, solidly based in research, and converted into practical tools that we can use to live an authentic and rich life. Core to her message was her encouragement to us all to, “Have the courage to be open - you’ll never hurt as much by being open as you do by being closed.” It reminded me of a quote by Anais Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” In Steering By Starlight, Martha shares a powerful set of ideas and user-friendly tools for getting clear on the vision of the person you want to BE, understanding how to manage your own fear and limiting thoughts and the “change-back attacks” from others, how to open the gateway to your unconscious wisdom through dream analysis, and how to leverage painful life experiences, to transform yourself into being more of the person you want to be. A highly recommended read to support your "to be" goals.