You know, some days I just really feel like giving up. In fact (just between you and me), most days I feel like that, sometimes for just a moment, sometimes for much of the day. You know those times when the obstacles just seem so big and complex, and impossible to overcome. And you start to wonder why you chose to do something so difficult anyway. And it’s warm, safe and simple under your duvet and cold, unpredictable and nasty outside...Yes, I know I’m not supposed to say that. Life coaches are supposed to have endless energy, enthusiasm, and optimism, and have permanently purged their vocabulary of words like, “can’t” and “quit.” Yeah right. That would be easy, if it weren’t for my curiosity about the things in life that are below the surface and often difficult to understand, or my appetite for big goals and pushing my own boundaries, or that compelling feeling of exhiliration that comes from finding out that you can do something you previously thought you could never do.
You see, just like with your work and personal goals, my goals would be really easy to achieve... if it weren’t for all the unpredictable obstacles that, frustratingly, keep cropping up. Wouldn’t it be nice if, for once, we could just go about creating what we want in our lives, without any interference or resistance - if all the difficult parts could be removed. I mean, imagine if it could be easy to run a marathon - no muscle cramping, no knee injuries, no blisters, no hills. Or if it could be really easy to get washboard abs without a tough exercise regime or a careful diet. Or if we could make our jobs easy by getting rid of all of the difficult and unpredictable things (like the prospects, the customers, our managers, our colleagues, our systems, our economy...) Wouldn’t your life be amazing then?
No, it wouldn’t be amazing at all. It would be just average. Because, if it was easy to run a marathon, everybody would. And if it could be easy to have washboard abs, then everybody would have washboard abs. And if there was a job that had no problems to solve, then anybody could do it. And if anybody could do it, then you’d be easily replaceable, and your skills, talents and abilities wouldn’t be recognised or valued highly. And that means that people won’t pay much for what you’re offering. The fact that your job or your personal goals are difficult and unpredictable works to your advantage. The greater the obstacles between you and the goals you’re going after, the more likely that other people pursuing those same goals will drop out, and the fewer competitors you’ll have. This gives you a greater chance of being the best at what you do. And those that are the best tend to enjoy significantly greater rewards for being at the top. As international marketing guru, Seth Godin says (in his book, “The Dip”), “Obstacles create scarcity and scarcity creates value.”
Ruben Gonzalez is a man who fully understood this principle. He’d always wanted to be an Olympic athlete. But he had a few significant obstacles in the way of his dream. For starters, he wasn’t a great athlete, and, at 21 years old, he hadn’t even chosen his sport yet. Not to be deterred, Gonzalez realised that, the tougher the sport, the fewer competitors he’d have, and the greater his chances of realising his Olympic dream. So Gonzalez researched the Olympic sports and chose the most grueling sport he could find, the sport with the greatest number of broken bones and the highest number of quitters. He settled on the luge - a winter sport that involves hurtling down an ice track on a sled, at 140km per hour. Just four years later, Gonzalez made it to the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics, and went on to become a “three-time Olympian”, competing in Albertville in 1992 and Salt Lake City in 2000.
So here’s some of the ideas I’ll be using to pull myself out from under the duvet and motivate myself to keep cracking on:
1. Ask yourself, “If this was easy, would I want it this much?” Part of the thrill of achieving big goals is in knowing that you faced and overcame hardships that most other people shy away from. The level of difficulty increases the level of fulfillment in achieving your goals. If you’re not that excited about your life and the things you’re investing time and energy in, perhaps it’s too easy. Set more challenging goals.
2. Increase your perceived value to others by setting stretch goals. If you’re doing what everyone else is doing, the way everyone else is doing it, then anybody can do it instead of you. Your manager, your customers, your friends, your lover will all value you more (and invest more time/ energy/ money to keep you around), if you’re offering something more remarkable than anybody else can offer them.
3. Hope for more and bigger obstacles. The next time you’re not sure how much longer you can go on, and you’re facing up to a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, remind yourself that your competitors are probably facing the same obstacles. The greater the obstacle, the more excited you should be. Because then the chances are greater that your competitors are dropping like flies... opening the way for you to get to the top, where the rewards are abundant.
What's your perspective on obstacles? What else do you do to sustain your energy, and to overcome obstacles?
3 comments:
Hello Cath
Enjoyed your article on thinking differently about obstacles. Where do i work next is my obstacle? Thank you for encouraging me to think that the obstacle is wirth working through. God has a plan. I need to live with the tensions and uncertainty..and sadness. Blessings Grant Edkins all the way from Merrivale, KZN
Wow, Grant, big decisions... Uncertainty is the worst form of obstacle - because you're usually certain that there will be obstacles, but have no idea what exactly the obstacles will be - and then it's hard to prepare for tackling those obstacles.
In Martha Beck's book, "Finding Your Own North Star" (one of my listed favourites), she writes about the phases we go through psychologically when we're making a change in our lives (especially when we aren't sure what we're changing towards). She describes the first phase as being much like grieving, when we feel somewhat shocked and paralyzed (with fear, often), and often quite sad, even depressed, as we're leaving behind what's familiar, but we're not yet sure what we're moving into. She calls this first phase the "Death and rebirth" phase. The next phase is called the "Dreaming and scheming" phase. This is when we've grieved enough and we start to dream and scheme about what we want to move into, and this becomes the foundation for the direction we choose to move in. This is a brainstorming phase where it's important to set your imagination free, so you can be open to hearing the plan that's meant for you.
Martha's book goes on to describe the other two phases - "Hero's Saga" and "Promised Land," and she gives fantastic tips and ideas for navigating through the phases (as painlessly as possible).
When you're ready for phase two of your change, you might find it useful to do the exercise I described in my blog titled "Re-view 2007, Pre-view 2008". Before you move into your next venture (which will be as ad-venturous as all your ventures before, I'm sure!), ask yourself, "What do I want? What's important to me in any work I do?
Never underestimate the power of the human will!
Case in point:Thomas Alva Edison,
who had exactly three years of formal education and was not respected in the scientific community.
He made a prediction before he had invented the electric light
and when electricity was a labratory curiosity, that he
would light an entire city with
electrical power.
He was ridiculed and officially
condemned as a crackpot,
but you know the rest of the story.
Post a Comment