Well, 1 January 2008 is only several days history and many people have already broken, discarded or forgotten their new year’s resolutions by now.One of the main reasons why new years resolutions have notoriously poor results is that most people decide on new years wishes, rather than goals, and they leave out some of the most important steps in the goal setting process.
Wishes or “dream lists” are an important part of getting in touch with your imagination and generating exciting ideas for goals, but they lack the strong foundations of an honest review of your current situation, and the clear blue prints for action that are created when you follow the goal setting process. As a result, new years wishes fall away as soon as the smallest obstacle challenges your motivation.
Goal setting is all about getting from where you are to where you want to be. In order to create the plan to get from where you are to where you want to be, you need to start with evaluating where you are in each area of your life right now.
An accurate evaluation of your reality is the foundation for a realistic and achievable goal plan. Unfortunately, because of habitual thinking patterns that act as filters, our perception often differs from our reality. Sometimes the information we delete when we evaluate ourselves is the positive information about the awesome things we’ve accomplished, the great ideas we’ve had, the positive feedback we’ve received, and the difficulties we’ve survived. Filtering out positive feedback results in a lack of confidence, smaller goals, and feeling more fearful.
The other type of information that is often deleted is the negative feedback we’re getting, signs that what we’re doing is not working, or that an obstacle or threat exists. It’s said that humans have two main fears, from which all other fears are derived - fear of rejection and fear of failure. We’re programmed to avoid the pain of rejection or failure, and one way of avoiding that pain (at least temporarily) is by filtering our perception of reality and seeing only what we want to see. It’s the good old “ostrich-with-his-head-in-the-sand” syndrome, where he tells himself, “If I can’t see it, it’s not there.” As the picture above illustrates, this can be a very dangerous strategy!
It’s only when we have the courage to evaluate ourselves and our results accurately, including both the positive and negative feedback, that we give ourselves the opportunity to learn, to adapt and to improve, and to approach the existing challenges, obstacles and threats with confidence and resourcefulness.
John Maxwell, in his book, “Failing Forward”, says that the main difference between average people and highly successful people is their perception of and response to failure. Most people fear failure and respond by blaming others, repeating the same mistakes, being limited by past mistakes, saying to themselves, “I am a failure”, quitting and then either expecting to always fail or holding onto the delusion that they’ll never fail again.
People who are successful view failure as crucial feedback in their progress towards their goal. As a result, they watch and listen well, they actively seek feedback, and they get more accurate information about what’s working and what’s not working. Using all this feedback, they learn and improve with every mistake, they’re able to maintain a positive attitude when something hasn’t worked out as well as they’d hoped, they continue to have the courage to take new risks and to persevere, and they accept that failure is a normal part of any progress and don’t let setbacks shake their self-worth or their belief in their vision. Successful people believe that there’s no such thing as failure - there’s only feedback. Leverage the feedback and you’ll increase your success.
So this year, skip the new years resolutions and choose to set goals instead. Start with reviewing 2007, and then have the audacity to pre-view 2008’s forthcoming attractions as follows:
1. Brainstorm what went well for you in 2007. What worked well? What positive results did you create? What are you especially proud of? What did you learn or master in 2007? What are you feeling really grateful for?
2. Brainstorm what didn’t work so well in 2007. What negative feedback or results did you notice? What are you not feeling good about? What are you worried about? What do you want to leave behind in 2008?
3. Brainstorm your dreams and desires for each area of your life. What would you like to change? What do you want to have, do or be in 2008? What ideas get you really excited?
4. Create a list of goals for 2008. Drawing on list 3, decide which are your most important changes to make and what you think you can realistically tackle this year. Then write specific goals with deadlines, create a clear plan to achieve each of those goals, and start taking action. Happy 2008!
Wishes or “dream lists” are an important part of getting in touch with your imagination and generating exciting ideas for goals, but they lack the strong foundations of an honest review of your current situation, and the clear blue prints for action that are created when you follow the goal setting process. As a result, new years wishes fall away as soon as the smallest obstacle challenges your motivation.
Goal setting is all about getting from where you are to where you want to be. In order to create the plan to get from where you are to where you want to be, you need to start with evaluating where you are in each area of your life right now.
An accurate evaluation of your reality is the foundation for a realistic and achievable goal plan. Unfortunately, because of habitual thinking patterns that act as filters, our perception often differs from our reality. Sometimes the information we delete when we evaluate ourselves is the positive information about the awesome things we’ve accomplished, the great ideas we’ve had, the positive feedback we’ve received, and the difficulties we’ve survived. Filtering out positive feedback results in a lack of confidence, smaller goals, and feeling more fearful.
The other type of information that is often deleted is the negative feedback we’re getting, signs that what we’re doing is not working, or that an obstacle or threat exists. It’s said that humans have two main fears, from which all other fears are derived - fear of rejection and fear of failure. We’re programmed to avoid the pain of rejection or failure, and one way of avoiding that pain (at least temporarily) is by filtering our perception of reality and seeing only what we want to see. It’s the good old “ostrich-with-his-head-in-the-sand” syndrome, where he tells himself, “If I can’t see it, it’s not there.” As the picture above illustrates, this can be a very dangerous strategy!
It’s only when we have the courage to evaluate ourselves and our results accurately, including both the positive and negative feedback, that we give ourselves the opportunity to learn, to adapt and to improve, and to approach the existing challenges, obstacles and threats with confidence and resourcefulness.
John Maxwell, in his book, “Failing Forward”, says that the main difference between average people and highly successful people is their perception of and response to failure. Most people fear failure and respond by blaming others, repeating the same mistakes, being limited by past mistakes, saying to themselves, “I am a failure”, quitting and then either expecting to always fail or holding onto the delusion that they’ll never fail again.
People who are successful view failure as crucial feedback in their progress towards their goal. As a result, they watch and listen well, they actively seek feedback, and they get more accurate information about what’s working and what’s not working. Using all this feedback, they learn and improve with every mistake, they’re able to maintain a positive attitude when something hasn’t worked out as well as they’d hoped, they continue to have the courage to take new risks and to persevere, and they accept that failure is a normal part of any progress and don’t let setbacks shake their self-worth or their belief in their vision. Successful people believe that there’s no such thing as failure - there’s only feedback. Leverage the feedback and you’ll increase your success.
So this year, skip the new years resolutions and choose to set goals instead. Start with reviewing 2007, and then have the audacity to pre-view 2008’s forthcoming attractions as follows:
1. Brainstorm what went well for you in 2007. What worked well? What positive results did you create? What are you especially proud of? What did you learn or master in 2007? What are you feeling really grateful for?
2. Brainstorm what didn’t work so well in 2007. What negative feedback or results did you notice? What are you not feeling good about? What are you worried about? What do you want to leave behind in 2008?
3. Brainstorm your dreams and desires for each area of your life. What would you like to change? What do you want to have, do or be in 2008? What ideas get you really excited?
4. Create a list of goals for 2008. Drawing on list 3, decide which are your most important changes to make and what you think you can realistically tackle this year. Then write specific goals with deadlines, create a clear plan to achieve each of those goals, and start taking action. Happy 2008!
1 comment:
I'm glad to say I do achieve my New Year Goals.
BUT, that doesn't necessarily mean success.
I keep my side of the bargain with myself, but how the results of my endevours is received by others is beyond my hands.
the important thing is to set the goal, achieve the goal, then keep trying again if it doesn't work out.
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