Get real! What do you REALLY Want?

If you haven't got what you want, it's probably because you haven't decided specifically what you want. When we feel stuck we're often very clear on what we DON'T WANT, but when I ask my clients, "so what do you want instead?" they often look at me as though I just asked them when last they cleaned their toenails. Then they spew out a few vague ideas and hope I'll drop the line of questions. But I stay with it, because I know that probably the most important driver of change is having a clear, detailed outcome.

Seth Godin's blog this week addresses the importance of being really specific, and creating a really clear, detailed outcome picture - for the purpose of marketing, leadership and getting people to buy into your version of the future. The same principle applies for personal change - "if you want yourself to embrace your version of the future, talk about it like it's right around the corner, not on another planet."

Because we like what's familiar. In fact we like it so much, we gravitate towards it and we seek to repeat it - even if it wasn't ideal. One way that you can get familiar with the version of the future that you really want is by articulating a detailed picture of that future - the more detailed and specific you are, the more familiar and close that future will seem, and the more effortlessly you'll get there.

Thank goodness, it's another obstacle!

You know, some days I just really feel like giving up. In fact (just between you and me), most days I feel like that, sometimes for just a moment, sometimes for much of the day. You know those times when the obstacles just seem so big and complex, and impossible to overcome. And you start to wonder why you chose to do something so difficult anyway. And it’s warm, safe and simple under your duvet and cold, unpredictable and nasty outside...

Yes, I know I’m not supposed to say that. Life coaches are supposed to have endless energy, enthusiasm, and optimism, and have permanently purged their vocabulary of words like, “can’t” and “quit.” Yeah right. That would be easy, if it weren’t for my curiosity about the things in life that are below the surface and often difficult to understand, or my appetite for big goals and pushing my own boundaries, or that compelling feeling of exhiliration that comes from finding out that you can do something you previously thought you could never do.

You see, just like with your work and personal goals, my goals would be really easy to achieve... if it weren’t for all the unpredictable obstacles that, frustratingly, keep cropping up. Wouldn’t it be nice if, for once, we could just go about creating what we want in our lives, without any interference or resistance - if all the difficult parts could be removed. I mean, imagine if it could be easy to run a marathon - no muscle cramping, no knee injuries, no blisters, no hills. Or if it could be really easy to get washboard abs without a tough exercise regime or a careful diet. Or if we could make our jobs easy by getting rid of all of the difficult and unpredictable things (like the prospects, the customers, our managers, our colleagues, our systems, our economy...) Wouldn’t your life be amazing then?

No, it wouldn’t be amazing at all. It would be just average. Because, if it was easy to run a marathon, everybody would. And if it could be easy to have washboard abs, then everybody would have washboard abs. And if there was a job that had no problems to solve, then anybody could do it. And if anybody could do it, then you’d be easily replaceable, and your skills, talents and abilities wouldn’t be recognised or valued highly. And that means that people won’t pay much for what you’re offering. The fact that your job or your personal goals are difficult and unpredictable works to your advantage. The greater the obstacles between you and the goals you’re going after, the more likely that other people pursuing those same goals will drop out, and the fewer competitors you’ll have. This gives you a greater chance of being the best at what you do. And those that are the best tend to enjoy significantly greater rewards for being at the top. As international marketing guru, Seth Godin says (in his book, “The Dip”), “Obstacles create scarcity and scarcity creates value.”

Ruben Gonzalez is a man who fully understood this principle. He’d always wanted to be an Olympic athlete. But he had a few significant obstacles in the way of his dream. For starters, he wasn’t a great athlete, and, at 21 years old, he hadn’t even chosen his sport yet. Not to be deterred, Gonzalez realised that, the tougher the sport, the fewer competitors he’d have, and the greater his chances of realising his Olympic dream. So Gonzalez researched the Olympic sports and chose the most grueling sport he could find, the sport with the greatest number of broken bones and the highest number of quitters. He settled on the luge - a winter sport that involves hurtling down an ice track on a sled, at 140km per hour. Just four years later, Gonzalez made it to the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics, and went on to become a “three-time Olympian”, competing in Albertville in 1992 and Salt Lake City in 2000.

So here’s some of the ideas I’ll be using to pull myself out from under the duvet and motivate myself to keep cracking on:

1. Ask yourself, “If this was easy, would I want it this much?” Part of the thrill of achieving big goals is in knowing that you faced and overcame hardships that most other people shy away from. The level of difficulty increases the level of fulfillment in achieving your goals. If you’re not that excited about your life and the things you’re investing time and energy in, perhaps it’s too easy. Set more challenging goals.

2. Increase your perceived value to others by setting stretch goals. If you’re doing what everyone else is doing, the way everyone else is doing it, then anybody can do it instead of you. Your manager, your customers, your friends, your lover will all value you more (and invest more time/ energy/ money to keep you around), if you’re offering something more remarkable than anybody else can offer them.

3. Hope for more and bigger obstacles. The next time you’re not sure how much longer you can go on, and you’re facing up to a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, remind yourself that your competitors are probably facing the same obstacles. The greater the obstacle, the more excited you should be. Because then the chances are greater that your competitors are dropping like flies... opening the way for you to get to the top, where the rewards are abundant.

What's your perspective on obstacles? What else do you do to sustain your energy, and to overcome obstacles?

Who's the King of the Jungle? (Written Feb 2008)

I remember one of my favourite holidays with my family as a child. We drove up to to the Etosha National Park in Namibia for a week or so of game viewing. Now safaris aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but as an 11 year old, I’d only ever seen wild animals in cages at the zoo, so the challenge of spotting animals in the bushes and identifying them in our field book was very appealing.

I’ll never forget the first animal we saw - we went crazy with excitement. As we drove into the park gates, there, just on the side of the road was a Springbok, standing gracefully and staring at us. We all jumped up, pointing, yelling, fighting for the window seats, and taking loads of photos. Us kids were proud because we all knew it was a Springbok. And I thought, “this is the best holiday ever!”

After a little while, we drove on and just a few kilometres down the road we came across some more Springboks - this time a whole group of them. We slowed down and watched them for a few minutes. And then we drove on a bit further and what do you think we saw? More Springboks! This time we didn’t stop.

Within about an hour, we went from being absolutely manic with excitement about the Springboks to driving straight past them, barely noticing them. They were everywhere. They weren’t exciting anymore. They were boring. We no longer looked for Springboks. In fact, we often didn’t even notice them. Springboks became invisible. What we really wanted to see was the BIG 5. They’re much less common than Springboks and zebras and giraffe. They’re special because they’re rare and remarkable.

We all want what’s rare and remarkable. And we’re all willing to pay more for anything that’s rare and remarkable. This is why, in whatever industry you’re in, if you want to be successful and you want to increase your company profits and personal income, you need to be rare and remarkable like the Big 5.

The BPO/ contact centre industry is one of the fastest growing industries in South Africa. In 2007, Calling the Cape reported that there were over 200 contact centres in the Cape, with over 22 000 people working in the contact centre industry. The outsourcing industry worldwide has also grown rapidly. Indian contact centres employ over 120 000 people. In the USA, there are currently over 50 000 contact centres, employing over 2.8 million people. In Canada, over 200 000 people work in the contact centre industry. Australia has over 3900 contact centres employing over 225 000 people. In the UK, the contact centre industry employes over 1 million people. In such a crowded market, what makes your company rare and remarkable like the Big 5? And what makes you the lion amongst other employees?

If you’re someone who wants to ensure that you never have to worry about having a job, or if you’re the sort of person who wants to make sure that you get every promotional and growth opportunity that you ever want, and if you want to increase your income and create the freedom to live the lifestyle you want, then here are some tips to ensure that you’re the king of the jungle:

Think like an entrepreneur. One of the biggest misnomers these days is the term “permanent employee”. With the high rate of change in our world today, no job ever has the guarantee that it’ll be permanent. If you’re an employee, realise that someone else is paying you to work for yourself. And we’ll all willingly pay more for something that is rare and remarkable. So make sure you stand out from the rest and you’ll never have a problem getting that salary increase or promotion you’re asking for.

Identify your strengths. Know what your unique selling point is... and then focus on that. It might seem counter-intuitive, but accelerated success comes from focusing more on your strengths than your weaknesses. Whatever you do well, whatever gets you the results - focus on doing more of that.

Commit to lifelong learning. Set goals and create a plan for continuously improving your skills, knowledge and attitudes on a daily basis. What do you read? What courses are you putting yourself through? What new skill or hobby are you learning? When your competitors find out what you’re doing that pleases your employer and your customers so much, they’ll start doing it too. And then you’re not rare and remarkable anymore... unless you’re committed to lifelong learning and improvement, and you can continuously reinvent yourself. Be the leader and stay ahead of your followers by being committed to continuous improvement.

Always do and be more than is expected of you. Whatever goals your manager sets for you, set your own goals, and set them higher. Find ways to add value in everything you do.

And finally, remember that,
“The leader is the leader because they did something remarkable.” So go and be remarkable.