Your Unique Voice... Hallelujah!

Michael and I had had 6 sessions together and he was still stuck. Michael was the typical Renaissance Professional - talented at a multitude of different skills, deeply curious about a variety of different fields, a quick learner, and exploding with ideas of new ventures to pursue. Loads of great ideas, quick learner, multi-talented... surely it’s the perfect formula for success? So why was Michael still stuck?

Michael was suffering from a bad case of RESISTANCE. Resistance is the silent killer, stealing more dreams and leading to more un-lived lives every year than heart disease and cancer put together, and made so much more powerful by the fact that so few people know how to recognize it. Resistance comes in many strains, but here are a few of the common symptoms that’ll let you know may have it:

• low energy, fatigue and increased desire to sleep during the day
• restlessness, boredom and fidgeting
• an increased fascination with detail and a strong desire to clean, organize, and alphabetize everything in your workspace
• a major drop in productivity
• poor concentration, easily distracted
• a sudden breadth and depth of imagination for catastrophe
• a mild to major paranoia about what other people think and a sense that the world may be conspiring against you
• increased sensitivity to the personality and behavioural flaws of those closest to you
• a flush of creativity and skill in the art of criticism and “soap box” oration on topics of a purely philosophical and irrelevant or non-practical nature
• increased desire for activities that provide immediate self-gratification: alcohol, shopping, TV, masturbation, and food containing fat, sugar, salt or chocolate
• increased participation in gossip and a penchant for drawing attention to yourself, getting yourself into trouble and creating life drama

In severe cases:

• the development of full-blown ADD
• clinical depression
• panic attacks
• the breakdown of significant relationships
• the development or recurrence of addictions to illegal, mood-inducing substances
• engagement in verbal aggression, violence, crime or self-destruction

But don’t worry if you got top scores on this test - just like heart disease and cancer, resistance is a disease of lifestyle, and entirely preventable and, in many cases it’s curable too. The key is to know what lifestyle habits put you at risk and to make better lifestyle choices. Here are some of the high risk lifestyle habits that Resistance Expert, Steven Pressfield, says could cause you to join the millions who suffer the agony of resistance:

• the pursuit of creative activities such as writing and art-making
• the launching of entrepreneurial ventures
• dieting and following health regimes
• participating in any program of spiritual advancement or personal development
• any activity whose aim is tighter abdominals
• any course designed to overcome an unwholesome habit or addiction
• education of every kind
• any act of political, moral, or ethical courage
• the undertaking of any endeavor to help others
• any act that entails a commitment of the heart (like a decision to get married, have a child, weather a rocky patch in a relationship)
• the taking of any principled stand in the face of adversity

Oh, dear... if you’re anything like me, Michael or the people I typically work with, you’re probably off-the-scale high risk. And the worst part is, you’re about as likely to change your lifestyle choices as Homer Simpson is to quit beer and do-nuts. Because you’re wired for doing the very things that elicit resistance. Even if you wanted to fall back on the mold, and live a conventional life, you wouldn’t know how. You’re just not good at that. You feel compelled to question and to push the boundaries, to take up challenges and to create. It’s like you don’t have a choice. So if we can’t prevent it, we’ll beat it some other way. So let’s take heart in Pressfield’s encouragement: “Overcoming resistance is like giving birth. It seems absolutely impossible until you remember that women have been pulling it off successfully, with support and without, for fifty million years.”

So here’s what Michael and I did, after diagnosing a chronic case of resistance. Resistance is a dis-ease that’s triggered by the body. The body reacts to any major change by creating resistance, because, from a survival point of view, major change (in body temperature or blood pressure, for example) could be fatal to the body. But the actual embryos of resistance manifest in the mind - and we can find them and pluck them out one at a time, to ease our path forward.

At the core of Michael’s resistance was the thought that he needed to come up with something truly unique and original, for it to be a worthy pursuit that the world would welcome and people would be willing to throw their money at. The problem was that, for every idea he came up with, he found that there was already somebody else doing “his idea” or something similar to it. And then he’d tell himself that his idea is already being done, the market is probably already taken, and the world doesn’t need another one of those. Of course, you’ve probably already started to notice a couple of holes in that argument - the gaps in the rationalization behind our resistance are always easier for other people to spot!

By identifying the core rationalization behind his resistance, Michael was able to turn his finely tuned skills of criticism on his own thoughts, and soon enough was able to see them for the lies they were, opening his eyes to the paradigm shift that made all the difference. Michael realized that the fact that somebody else was doing “his idea” was a useful indication that there IS a market for that service, and he came to appreciate that there are, in fact, very few truly original ideas behind the successful ventures being launched all over the world each day. Instead, successful people recognize that creativity is often more about bringing already existing ideas together in a new way, with a new voice - and there’s alot of room for that.

This Christmas season reminded me of Michael and the particular brand of resistance that he had struggled with. I'm sure you've all become familiar with the two versions of the "Hallelujah" song that made the top 2 chart spots, and being played everywhere this Christmas. The same song, sung by two different people, made it to number one and number two on the charts. And it wasn't their original idea - Leonard Cohen wrote it 20yrs ago. For me this is clear evidence that you don’t have to have an entirely new idea to be successful with your venture, and that there’s enough room for us all to be appreciated for our unique “voice.” So how will you be expressing your unique voice and what high risk lifestyle plans have you got lined up for this year?

‘Cos you know what’s great about resistance? Resistance is the clearest indication that you’re growing. So when you feel the symptoms of resistance coming on, just pause and smile to yourself, knowing that it’s a sign that you’re already making progress.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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Make 2009 your Best Year Yet!

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SA Doctor Inoculates Herself from Stress

I have the best job in the world. I get to meet amazing people who share their life stories and a wide variety of fascinating current challenges with me, and I get to walk alongside them for a short while - thinking and learning with them, together cracking open new ways of thinking and being and, best of all, celebrating the results of their personal and professional evolutions and revolutions. Since other people’s heroic stories have so enriched my life and my faith in what’s possible for us all, I figure these stories should be shared.

Like most of the people I work with, Aina Ayodele considers her work to be a central part of her life purpose and it’s always been important to her that her work is both successful and significant. As a medical doctor responsible for running a primary health clinic in one of the most under-resourced areas in Cape Town - an area rife with social and health problems (TIK abuse, HIV/AIDS, TB, violence, just to name a few), Aina has a strong sense of the significance of her work. But in an under-resourced and over-burdened system, in an impoverished and trauma-ridden community, “success” often feels impossible.

The hero’s saga is a standard theme in any popular book or movie, and there’s a reason for that... the hero’s saga is universal. We all identify with the story of having a big dream, setting out into the world confident in our dream, having prepared for all sorts of obstacles and challenges, and getting smacked to the ground by some proverbial dragon just as we step out the door. Unfortunately, that’s where so many real life stories end, and the reason why so many people shelve their dreams and settle for mediocrity. It’s also the reason why we’re all so inspired by stories of people who got up again... and again, and again, and eventually achieved their big dream. Aina’s story is a real life hero’s saga of someone who got smacked down and got up again.

The Ravensmead Community Health Clinic had been running without a Principal Medical Officer for over 5 years when Aina was appointed in April 2008. During that time, the clinic had atrophied from 24 to only 15 members of staff, who were functioning haphazardly with no systems in place. There was no triage system for identifying emergency cases and responding to critical priority patients first, there were no systems to facilitate continuity of care, and patients were sent to and fro between health professionals without effective record-keeping, resulting in duplication, wasting of resources and high rates of misdiagnosis, morbidity and mortality. In spite of the very high levels of HIV in the area, there were no daily HIV counseling and testing services at the clinic and they frequently turned away 75 or more patients a day, because they didn’t have the capacity to help them.

Having worked as a doctor in SA for 11 years, Aina was no stranger to the challenges of the SA health system, and she knew that the significance of their work depended on the success of their work. They could only make a significant difference if they began to work more effectively. Aina’s vision was big and she pushed herself out the door by letting her imagination loose on her dream and creating a really clear picture of her promised land: “an adequate, effective, and comprehensive health care service that is sensitive to the community’s needs and promotes service excellence that reflects the meaning of my name.” Ayodele means “joy arrives home” and Ayodele wanted her patients to feel as comfortable as if they were in their own home, and joyful, as a result of the excellent service and improved health they experience through the Ravensmead clinic service.

The most useful model for understanding and overcoming stress that I’ve come across is based on the idea that stress happens when the perceived threats are greater than the perceived resources and the perceived rewards. When we take up a challenge, no matter how great the perceived threats are, so long as we think our resources for dealing with those threats are greater, and perceive that the ultimate rewards of overcoming those threats are greater, we’re immunized against stress. This is because when the scales are stacked this way, the stories we tell ourselves go something like this: “This is hard, but it’s all going to work out in the end,” and we continue to let our imagination play with the potential positive future scenarios.

As soon as the scales tip and we think that the threats are greater than our resources, we start to tell ourselves a story along the lines of, “things aren’t going to turn out well” and our imagination runs riot, producing multiple worst-case scenarios, and before we know it, we’re having difficulty sleeping or eating, we’re feeling ratty and snapping at people, we’re making silly mistakes, losing or gaining weight, feeling tearful, and developing aches, pains and illnesses. The wort part is that stress creates a negative self-reinforcing cycle: when our stress response is triggered, our neurology changes so that we use more blinkered vision and thinking and we focus more on threats. This is useful for our survival: if you’re being chased by a lion, it’s better to focus on just the lion, and not be distracted by the beautiful sunset on the horizon. But what we focus on grows, and when we focus more on the threats, we start to delete the resources and rewards from our awareness. And this creates further stress, because our perception of the threats becomes even greater than our perception of our resources and rewards. To top it all off, stress often gets us stuck in the problem, because it’s much harder to think creatively and generate possible solutions when we’re using blinkered thinking and focusing on the threats instead of the resources.

And this is what happened to Aina. In spite of all her careful thought and hard work, the obstacles seemed to grow, and resistance from already burned-out staff was high, until a huge challenge that Aina had never anticipated knocked her to the ground. During a national spate of violent xenophobic attacks, Aina, who was born in Nigeria but is now a South African citizen, was threatened and intimidated by some of her staff and community. Aina and I started working together shortly after this traumatic incident, when she was suffering typical symptoms of stress, burnout and depression. Usually cheerful, friendly and outgoing, she had become socially withdrawn, tearful and unable to eat or sleep. She was ready to give up her faith in her vision for success and significance and was considering resigning and retiring from medicine altogether... because the perceived threats seemed so much greater than her perceived resources and the perceived rewards.

Over a series of 6 weeks, Aina processed the trauma of the event, dissolved many of her fears, restored her faith in her vision, got her health and vitality back, and put her whole self back into making her vision a reality at the Ravensmead clinic. How did she do it? It all comes down to one key word in the model of stress: PERCEPTION. Stress happens when the PERCEIVED obstacles/ threats are greater than the PERCEIVED resources and rewards. While our circumstances provide the triggers for stress, it’s our PERCEPTION and the stories we tell ourselves about those circumstances that create stress feelings and symptoms. While we can’t control everything in our circumstances (in fact trying to control everything in our circumstances is a recipe for stress!), we can always change our perception and the story we’re telling ourselves.

As a result of her new-found ability to inoculate her mind against stress, some of the successes Aina and her team have already notched up include:

• The establishment of an effective triage system where emergencies are prioritised
• Aligning the clinic services with provincial priorities (HIV/AIDS, TB, STDs)
• Increased human resources and improved equipment
• The appointment of a school nurse to address TIK concerns in the community
• Involvement of the clinic staff in a training program at the clinic
• Health education programs for patients with chronic illnesses
• An increase in TB detection
• A significant decrease in morbidity and mortality.

In November this year, Aina and her team ran the clinic’s first ever community education and outreach program, with great success. The theme was “Taking Charge of Hypertension - a Disease of Lifestyle” and made such an impact that people are still talking about it. Aina and her team are receiving much-deserved letters of congratulations and acknowledgment from senior officials in the Health Department. But even more important to Aina are the letters and words of gratitude she’s been receiving from community members, thanking them for the changes they’ve made in the past 5 months and pleading Aina to never leave the community clinic. In spite of all the odds, Aina is living up to her name and creating a place of “joy arriving home” for the community they serve.

Aina’s words of wisdom for us all? Aina says that the people in your life and your faith are vital sources of support in overcoming major obstacles - “whatever I am today, I owe to God and my parents, as well as the support of my friend, Louise Appolis.” She adds: “Be positive, stay strong. The road to success isn’t smooth, but if you endure, you’ll overcome. Tough challenges are there to make us stronger.” And as someone who’s name (Aina) means “child born with an umbilical cord around her neck”, it seems another part of her life purpose is revealed - to overcome major obstacles and constraints, and to inspire others to do them same. Aina, you’re an inspiration!

Had a tough year? Drop us a comment about your hero's saga and let us know how you got back up again...

Mine Your Resources Goes Nomadic in 2009

So you might have been wondering why I’ve been a bit quiet lately... for those of you who are familiar with Martha Beck’s model of the change cycle, I’ve been in what’s known as the “meltdown” phase, retreating into my cocoon to re-evaluate what’s really important and to let the old (although lovable) caterpillar of my life meltdown, so that the new, more liberated version can begin to form. Since confusion, anxiety, tiredness, mild depression and even periods of mental paralysis are the primary states of mind during the meltdown phase, I followed my own advice and spread myself a little less thin over the past few months. Having spent a few months carrying out some mental spring-cleaning, finding some key beliefs that are no longer useful for me, and gradually dissolving them one at a time, I’ve created the space and clarity for a new vision to form... so here it is:

Modern Nomads:
My husband, Andy, and I have both always loved travel and spent many mornings in bed, building sand-castles in the sky and hatching plans for the many different places we’ll travel to and through. For some time we’ve talked about the idea of traveling the world doing the work we love to do, but so far we’ve only done part of it - either the traveling part or the work we love part, never both. Our new, liberated butterfly lifestyle: to be modern nomads, traveling the world AND doing the work we both love. We’ve already taken the leap and committed to our new vision. Last month Andy left for London, where he’s setting up fort for us. And I’ve stayed to tie up some of my corporate coaching contracts and pack up our lives in Cape Town. I leave for London on 9 December, where we’ll be based and working from, until June 2009, when we’ll hop on 2 motorcycles and tour Europe for a few months. After that we’ll look to continue moving around, being based somewhere for 6 to 9 months, and traveling extensively in between, before moving onto the next “base camp.”

Why?
Great question! And a really important question to ask many, many times during the meltdown and re-formation phases, so that you can question and dissolve your fears and ensure that you’re aligning yourself with your true desires and values, rather than just following a plan that looks good on paper or fits the societal mold. So here’s why we’re doing it:

• We both love travel - especially the traveling part. For some people, travel means going to an exotic place and staying there for a few weeks, then returning home. The traveling we like to do involves touring countries, devoting much of our time to the actual journeying. We like to choose the quiet, little, winding roads, and take the long way getting there.
• We both love change. Andy’s a revolutionary - he enjoys major change every 6 months or so. I’m an evolutionary - I like major change every 2 to 3 years, with gradual change on a daily basis in between. We really love the stimulation of starting new projects, meeting new people, or experiencing new places, and we get a little edgy if we don’t get a regular fix of it.
• We both see work as an expression of ourselves, and it’s a priority to both of us that we’re doing the work we love. Before, when we couldn’t see how we could do the work we love and travel at the same time, doing the work we love was our higher value and we sacrificed our travel desires. Now we’re going for both.
• We’re both really excited about taking the opportunity to further develop our skills and knowledge in our respective fields by being involved in training, conversation and collaborative partnerships with experts all over the world who we’ve been following over recent years.
• It’s no longer that difficult to do the work you love whilst living a nomadic life. Outsourcing and working with people on other continents is now pretty common practice because we have the technology to facilitate this.

So what about my coaching?
It seems that the belief “you can’t do the work you love and travel the world” is a very common one, because alot of the time when I tell people I’m heading off for London in December, they say, “Oh, what a shame... your business has been doing so well here.” So then I explain how I’m not closing my business, and I’m not moving it to London either - I’m making it LOCATION INDEPENDENT. Since one person responded by asking, “Is that like a politically correct term for being homeless - like being location-challenged?” let me explain: basically what it means is that I want to be able to do the work I love doing from anywhere in the world, without the geographic location of me or my clients limiting us in any way. Since I love travel, I want to be able to move around without starting all over again, and I want my clients to be free to do them same, and to continue to be able to offer them value wherever they are in the world.

So here’s a taste of some of what you can look forward to from Mine Your Resources in 2009:

• a re-vamped, new-look, easy-to-use weblog (at www.myr.co.za) with much more regular postings
  
• group teleclasses
• the first of a series of multi-media coaching programs, which I’ll be completing for release in the new year.
• a book club where I’ll review and recommend some of the most useful personal development literature
• look out for podcasts and short videos I’ll be posting on YouTube
• a variety of personal development products from some of the world’s leading coaching, leadership and personal development experts, which I’ll be recommending and making available for purchase online.
• One-to-one coaching is still available by telephone or Skype (find me at Skype: mineyourresources). I will be keeping my South African rates for my South African clients for now.

The next year will be a very busy and exciting one for us, and I hope to be able to share our experiences and learnings with you along the way. Please keep me updated about your adventures next year too, and warn your London/ European family and friends that I'm heading over! You can connect with me on any of these platforms:

Twitter
Facebook
Xing
Huddlemind
LinkedIn
ecademy
Business Network Online